I: Frets Across His Skin
by psychedelicgoolash
Summary: Terrible circumstances sometimes bring people closer in the strangest of ways. A traumatized Toki, now home after his kidnapping, finds solace in the arms of Skwisgaar. Slash. Post-Doomstar. Part 1 of 2.
1. Chapter 1

Warning: Alcohol, drug use; sex; stuff. Please, if this really makes you uncomfortable, I wouldn't suggest reading it.  
Pairings: Skwisgaar/Toki, Skwistok, Wargelf, whatever you'd like to call it; mentions of Nathan/Abigail  
Genres: General/Romance/Angst/Comfort  
Summary: Terrible circumstances sometimes bring people closer in the strangest of ways. A traumatized Toki, now home after his kidnapping, finds solace in the arms of Skwisgaar. Slash. Post-Doomstar. Part 1 of 2.

I do not own _Metalocalypse_ or anything related to it. I do not own _Lunchables_.

I would like to use this space to thank my beta-reader, Wednesday1990, for taking the time to edit and read my story. God knows it needed it.

Edit (01/22/2014): Made some spelling/grammar/syntax corrections, thank you for being patient.

-x-

Skwisgaar stared across the massive dark, oak table that their band had grown accustomed to meeting at over the years. The rather insignificant piece of furniture had seen its fair share of booze, sluts, hair-brained schemes and in Murderface's vicinity, stabbings. In the past, six band members and their manager were seated in their respective spots by the crack of noon, ever since the completion of Mordhaus. However, what with the recent and rather drastic turn of events, their CFO appeared to be gone forever, and their rhythm guitarist was in the dark about the nature of this meeting, which, unbeknownst to Toki, happened almost daily.

Where Charles Ofdensen sat in the past, his shoulders rigid and his pale face a mask of stone, now sat the dark-skinned, thin and rather attractive Abigail. She could be as serious as their previous manager when she cared to be, and what with him missing, had taken over a majority of their management, legal counsel, and held the title of their (at least temporary) CFO, with klokateers' assistants at her bidding and all. Although she was a producer, she fell into her new role of power rather naturally, and even if the men sometimes felt uncomfortable with the idea that a _woman_ would be managing them, now that they were somewhat acquainted with her, they made the best of it—although it didn't hurt that their lead singer was fucking her, either.

"Murderface," Abigail turned to the bassist in question as everyone fought not to look disgusted by the current condition of his skin. It seemed to develop some sort of… unusual, blackened, purple rash. The said rash had a tendency to glow on occasion, but otherwise (as of now), other than gradually spreading around his skin, didn't seem to have too much of an effect on his usual whiney, dickish personality.

"Mmm?" William Murderface was using the sharp edge of his favorite knife to clean what appeared to be dirt from under his nails, his eyes not wandering up yet to address anyone in the room.

"...Have you at least considered consulting a doctor for your current… condition…?" She struggled to sound concerned, albeit at least not disgusted, which was painfully difficult. He was a disgusting man, after all, and even he didn't dispute that fact. This was a common conversation brought up by all members of the band, one that their bassist didn't take rather seriously.

"Pssht, the doctor? I don't thinksh sho." As if it pained him, he looked up at the other bodies in the room with a sigh as he tilted his chair back. "Kinda gettin' ushed to it."

"Dood," Pickles was the first to speak, a pierced eyebrow raised as he sat his bottle of whiskey on the table with a shake of his head. "You look like a fuckin' mess."

"Pfft, shaysh you!" Murderface pointed an accusing finger at the other man. "Don't even lie, it looksh pretty fuckin' badash. Kinda… I dunno, makesh me feel like Mike Tyson," he paused, as if he was expecting agreement from his fellow men, but only received looks of disdain, curiosity, and disgust. "Y'know… but wish a full body tattoo, not jush the face."

"I dunno, man," the famous growl of Nathan Explosion echoed out next in the large, stone room, both of his thick brows rising as his lips twisted in distaste. "Just kind of makes you look worse, if that was even possible. Like, uh… I don't even think that it's even… of this world, what if it _kills_ you?"

Murderface stood abruptly, as if a great injustice was placed upon him, raising a hand to his chest as he attempted to explain himself. "I looksh better than ever! Can'tsh you guysh be happy that thish… rash kinda looksh like a really aweshome tribal tattoo!?"

He looked to each of his band mates, again for emphasis, before continuing. "Itsh like… An ancshient Mayan tattoo or shomeshing, y'know? Likesh there'sh a secret messhage-"

Without looking up from his guitar, Skwisgaar finally decided to contribute to the conversation. "It looks likes some rares case of leprosky, Moiderface, you looks repulksive." Murderface turned his infamous scowl at the only blonde in the room, leaning forward on the table as he made his point.

"It looksh _aweshome_, actshually! And beshides," he trailed off as he sat himself back in his chair, crossing his arms stubbornly. "Afshter my lasht few visits to a doctor, I don't think itsh best if I go back…" Murderface fought not to outwardly shudder as he recalled the advances of that gay doctor and his failed attempt to get plastic surgery. "I think, like mosht of these thingsh, it'll jush… Y'know… Worksh itsh way out on itsh own…"

The three other men looked at Murderface with an expression of muted horror and maybe even a little pity, before a sigh from Abigail drew their eyes back to her. Nathan, in particular, looked concerned. It was rare moments like these, after the ordeal that she had been put through with Toki, she looked exhausted and worn. The slight bags under her eyes shone, and make up could only cover so much. With a quick deep breath, she regained her composure rather easily, as if awful memories hadn't just been conjured in her psyche and turned back to Murderface, looking to move on from the subject of his even more grotesque appearance.

"Murderface," she started carefully, lacing her fingers together. "How was Toki this evening?" Said man rolled his eyes and sat up straight, pulling the knife out from the table carelessly before brandishing it as he spoke.

"Look, I shtill think we're coddling him jush a little…" He was quickly stopped by a nasty glare from their new manager and Murderface's voice caught in his throat. Sometimes, the men in the band had a habit of forgetting that Abigail too was kidnapped with Toki. She was not nearly as outwardly sensitive as their youngest band mate, and she could at least take solace in Nathan, so she was able to mask the pain she experienced in the dungeons below their old rehearsal space much better than the "delicate" Toki Wartooth. That being said, Toki was a tender subject for their manager, not that it shouldn't be, what with the current state he was in. Murderface was just being, after all, a total asshole. "He wash fine. Went to bed about an hour ago."

"Good, good," Abigail still threw him a threatening look as she continued to question him. "Did you check the room for alcohol? Knives? Anything we need to be concerned about?"

"Checked. Everyshing was clear. I turned on hish nightlight and everyshing," Murderface, much more gingerly this time, looked to the other men in the room. "I'm jush tryin' to say… This attention to Toki ish jutsh a little… Gay, right? And the fact we have to do thish every damn night..."

Skwisgaar, Nathan, and Pickles said nothing as they looked over to the woman sitting at the head of the table, each knowing better than to speak. She looked cool and collective as she shifted her hands, crossing them on the surface of the wood tiredly. "Murderface, we go over this every time," With that, Abigail stood and made her way towards a window looking over the blackness outside of Mordhaus, and even the usually emotionally stunted men at the table were able to see a sad and longing gaze in the depth of her pretty eyes.

"Toki is suffering, more than any of you realize. He is a member of the band, and even if you don't treat him like it, he's also an important one with a massive fan base. You saw how obsessed the fans became after he went missing." She decided to leave out a comment that she had grown rather fond of the naive man during their time together, trapped and filthy in what seemed to be their final days, with only one another to protect. "We need to make sure he's at least… stable."

Skwisgaar looked to Nathan, Pickles, and Murderface. Even Murderface looked a bit concerned as they traded glances. It was the responsibility of the four members of the band to look over Toki as much as possible, and for good reason.

"Abigail," Nathan growled out softly, his raspy tone helping him hide some of the worry in his voice, which he tried to do as much as possible around his friends. "We're trying, you know that. Even Murderface." He shot his bassist a warning look before gazing back at the object of his affection, who finally turned to face them again, in particular, their guitarist.

"Skwisgaar," she moved gracefully back to her seat, crossing her legs. "How is his playing?"

"Mmmm," He grunted slightly as he looked up from his own fingering. "Dildoes. Very, very dildoes. Even more dans he useds to be."

Abigail sighed and ran a hand through her long, curly strands, clearly frustrated. "We have music to record, and we need to start booking a show. I know Charles warned you all about the significance of this," The men in the room were suddenly all the more uncomfortable, and she took their silence as proof that she was correct. "Toki seems to be going through some type of… post traumatic stress that's hampering him emotionally and musically. It's your job as his friends—"

"Bandmates," Pickles paused after correcting her. "...Wait, are we still callin' each other brothers?" Nathan grunted and shrugged as a response, his eyes locked on his girlfriend. Abigail sighed at Pickles' suggestion and rolled her eyes slightly, looking to them all with a frown. They had begun to finally acknowledge they "cared" for one another, but not without being stubborn about it.

"Whatever. _Bandmates_," she hissed out, obviously disapproving, but giving in nonetheless. "It's your job as his bandmates to make sure he is well enough to record and really, to live. That's all for tonight. You're dismissed."

-x-

Within the bowels of Mordhaus, in the long hallway that housed each of the men's rooms, Toki Wartooth was curled up as tight as he possibly could be as he shivered under his blankets. With Deddybear tucked beneath his armpit, Toki, clad in his usual t-shirt and a pair of flannel pajama bottoms decorated with smiling, cartoon rabbits, pulled his sheets closer, as if the cloth was some type of shield against whatever was haunting him.

There was a part of Dethklok's rhythm guitarist that hated this sudden extra attention he was receiving from everyone in his home. His bandmates, along with Abigail and the klokateers, made him feel like they had him surrounded at all times, breathing down his neck, acting like he was a ticking time bomb ready to blow or even _worse_, a cry baby. But there was a larger part of him that knew they were correct. A larger part of him that knew that if he was to be left alone, he'd full out panic and go askew. Which, against his bandmates' knowledge, happened every night when he woke up from his terrible, terrible dreams.

Take tonight, for example. It was Murderface who was assigned to sit and "hang out" with Toki, which consisted of Toki being forced to watch some stupid, confusing documentary on the American Civil War. There he sat, curled up on the opposite corner of the couch (he wanted to be as far away from that fucking rash as possible), clutching Deddybear tightly. The small stuffed animal hadn't left his side since his return, and although he was at least able to have a few beers with his bassist tonight, the alcohol that had helped him fall asleep had long worn off and had been replaced with tormenting nightmares.

Right now, he was shaking like a leaf in the wind as he tried to fight back tears, curled up in a fetal position as he drew his blanket closer. In the darkness of the night, in his lonely bedroom, he felt like he could feel the mossy stone beneath him. The awful, awful smell of what was akin to a sewer and the cold, rusted chains that clenched his throat and his wrists. The splintering wood of the cross that held him upside down till his head felt flooded with blood. He could hear the cruel laughter of Magnus and the frightening growl of that man with that weird, silver mask. It always happened at night, when he was alone, in the dark, and it was happening right now.

Toki felt the hair on the back of his neck raise as he remembered the feeling of the icy cold knife being driven between his ribs, ending a false friendship with his band's ex-guitarist. With that, making sure Deddybear was securely at his side, he lept out of his bed with a frightened whimper and pushed the door open, slamming it closed behind him like an animal desperate to evade a predator.

As he panted, his chest pressed firmly against the wood, he pushed his flushed, sweating cheek against the cold surface and gauged his surroundings. He was no longer in that horrific place, being tortured and abused. He and Abigail were safe in Mordhaus, his bandmates had saved him, and everything was… almost, what with the prophecy… right in the world. Shakily, he wiped cold sweat off his brow and decided that it was best for him not to be in his bedroom, and that maybe he could, although he was frightened, have a little time to himself and have a midnight snack.

Toki felt more comfortable in the kitchen anyway, even if the fluorescent lights generated a strange buzzing sound and made everything look weirdly whiter and artificial. Then again, it was light none the less, and this time of the night, it was the brightest place in Mordhaus, as the lights were usually left on during all hours.

"H-heres we go, Deddy," Toki whispered to his inanimate friend. "You k-k-keeps watch, j-ja? Imma makes us… A littles s-snack…" Toki always felt so cold after his night terrors, and it didn't help that he was always left utterly petrified, so the shakes were part of this new, emotionally deadening package.

Toki knew that there was something wrong with him, as did everyone else. Some days, he felt normal, almost happy. Like he actually recognized he was safe and back with what he regarded as his family, and that the danger had truly passed. But other times… he felt like an emotional wreck. He had always been regarded as 'childish' and 'sensitive,' (to which his bandmates, in the past, tended to slightly abuse him about), but now, at the drop of a hat, his moods would swing, ranging from angry and bitter, to numb and unfeeling, and even worse, to a depressed and crying mess. It was embarrassing to say the least, and he could practically feel his bandmates judging him as they looked on, uncomfortable and unsure how to access the situation.

"PTSD," he could remember Twinkletits saying, which took Toki a little while to understand. "It should get better over time, you just need to be patient and understand…" All the rest was garbled. He now had to deal with the effects of what came with this… _illness_. The mortification about his bandmates knowing he was depressed. The awful nightmares. Feeling a total lack of libido. The random flashbacks, which weren't as common as his bad dreams but they tended to surface with what appeared to be his main trigger: the darkness. Oh, it was so dark and cold in that awful place…

Toki looked up to their usual liquor cabinet in their kitchen and frowned. All the booze was locked up via a combination lock he didn't have the combination of. It was frustrating to him, as alcohol was a much needed escape, and he hated that now he was given it in portions that were deemed "safe" by everyone else. But nothing… _nothing_ compared to the frustration he was feeling about the guitar.

Toki Wartooth, who used to find solace in his treasured instrument, now only found grievance and pain. Since his return to the studio, Toki's playing had grown significantly worse. Although Skwisgaar argued that Toki's playing was always subpar, Toki had confidently felt that he could be nearly as good as his lead guitarist, what with him being able to somewhat keep up with the renowned playing of Skwisgaar Skwigelf. He knew it by the way their fans cheered and screamed for him. But since the incident with Magnus, it was a completely different story. It was like he couldn't remember even the simplest of chords. His fingers would get tangled on the strings and he could hear the collective groans and sighs of his band even from inside the recording booth.

He could recall a backhanded comment from Skwisgaar recently, which was along the lines of, 'He can'ts do it, I'll re-records it, as usuals,' which resulted in a mood swing from Toki and a broken guitar and amp. "Fuckings… Skwisgaar," Toki thought as he raided the cabinets of the kitchen for something edible, something that wouldn't put him into diabetic shock.

Skwisgaar, who was assigned to watch Toki more than anyone in Mordhaus for the sole purpose of practicing as much as possible, seemed to disregard more than anyone else Toki's current condition. He made the younger man work his fingers to the bone, practicing at least an hour a day, all while making sure Toki was aware of how burdening the task was. Although Toki could tell he was fighting not to make as many disparaging comments as usual, it just seemed to be in Skwisgaar's nature to be as cold as possible. It only infuriated Toki further that their new brand of 'guitar lessons' was actually credible (and didn't involve animal's blood) unlike in the past, where Skwisgaar took satisfaction with teaching Toki little to nothing at all.

Thinking of Skwisgaar and his nasty criticism did not help Toki's fluctuating feelings. Now, not just feeling frightened and sad, he felt angry, and even finding a case of _Lunchables_ didn't make him feel better.

"He's s-so fuckings… Means… So m-means to me…" Their last practice alone actually ended with Skwisgaar fighting not to laugh at a sad attempt of Toki to play basic chords, which only made his nightmares all the more graphic that evening. An unhappy frown played on his lips as he attempted to, with trembling hands, rip off the plastic layer that every _Lunchables_ was packed with. It was the pizza one, packed conveniently with pepperoni and marinara sauce, and even a little juice-box. Uncooperative fingers made this task torturous, and every try seemed to be a failure that added fuel to his mounting rage.

Toki remembered when he didn't have diabetes and he could eat his favorite _Lunchables_, the "Pizza and Treatzza." Not only did it come with enough sauce and pepperoni for two mini pizzas, it also came with chocolate frosting and mini _M&M's_ to make what they described as a "dessert pizza." It was nothing short of fascinating and heavenly for Toki. Again, he felt frustrated that he no longer could enjoy the delicious confectionery he once loved due to his diabetes. His stupid fucking pancreas, and now his stupid fucking Post Dramatic Stress… _Whatever_ it was fucking called!

After one more dashed attempt to open his _Lunchables_, Toki had enough. He reached inside the drawer that held a set of knives and began stabbing at the package, snarling as he did so, unable to help himself. "F-fucks you, Lunchables! Whats d-d-de fucks I dos to y-yous!"

Toki panted raggedly as he pulled the knife out from the now distorted _Lunchables_ on the counter and smiled now that it was open (albeit destroyed). Stabbing viciously at his meal was how Skwisgaar found him, and although it took a moment for him to process what he was watching, Skwisgaar moved quickly into the kitchen from the doorway when he realized what was going on.

"What de _fucks_ ams you doings?!" Toki quickly turned around and jumped in fear at the sudden intrusion, which overtook his anger temporarily. In the process, the knife he held in his clammy hand slid clumsily out of his palm and to the floor in a smooth, clean cut.

"_FUCKS_!" Toki screamed out and clutched at his wrist, doubling over slightly in pain as he cried out. "W-WHY DE FUCKS W-W-WOULD YOU DOS DAT?!" Skwisgaar, who was on his way to fetch a klokateer to find him a groupie or two to screw, did not expect to find Toki freaking out and stabbing a _Lunchables_ in the kitchen when he walked by. According to Murderface, their rhythm guitarist had fallen asleep about an hour or so ago, so how the hell was he supposed to take in the sight of Toki trying to murder a piece of food?!

"...Yous… Gots to be kiddin's me, c'mere!" Skwisgaar tried to ignore the other's shrill wails of agony and his adamant protests as he dragged him towards the sink. "Why woulds I… You were stabbings dat fuckings _Lunchables_ likes it owed you monies!" Skwisgaar, thinking as quickly as he possibly could, rushed towards the liquor cabinet to spin open the lock.

"IT WOULDN'TS O-OPEN AND YOU S-SCAREDS ME!" Toki could see the cut was shallow but it hurt nonetheless, and it didn't help that it was beginning to bleed profusely, despite how superficial the injury was. As he panicked, his knees threatened to give out beneath him, and Toki watched as Skwisgaar fetched a full bottle of vodka from their plentiful stash. After hurriedly unscrewing the cap, the taller of the two moved swiftly to join him back at his side at the sink.

"Dis… Dis ams goings to stings a little…" Before Toki could fight back anymore, Skwisgaar grabbed him by the arm and doused the cut in a good amount of the clear liquid, which only made Toki howl out and clench his eyes closed.

"_O-OH GODS, D-D-DAT HURTS, YOU FUCKINGS DILDOES_!" Toki broke away from Skwisgaar with ease and tried to run out of the kitchen, only to be grabbed by the collar of his shirt and dragged back towards him.

"It ams goings to cleans it, you idiot!" Skwisgaar wrapped an arm around his middle in an attempt to keep him still, pressing his body against his as he quickly fisted a hand full of paper towels, applying pressure to his cut with them. "Christ, Toki, whats ams you doings up anyways?!"

"I… I couldn'ts sleep!" He defended himself, the younger of the two letting out an anxious sniffle, the situation overwhelming in his current state. "D-Deddys and me wanteds a _L-lunchables_… De pizza ams too goods..." The end of his sentence trembled as he finally stopped his pursuit to escape, growing lax in his hold, leaning his head backwards against the other man's shoulder in apparent aggravation. Skwisgaar took notice to their proximity as he felt the other shake against him, sighing as he continued to hold him close. Conveniently, a set of klokateers rushed inside the kitchen, more than likely startled by their screaming, armed to the teeth and aiming semi-automatic rifles at the both of them.

Both men looked like deers caught in headlights, blue eyes wide, Toki's brimming with tears. Skwisgaar made a point to push Toki away from him before gesturing at his hand, addressing both klokateers. "He needs medicskals helps. _Now_." Toki noticed the firmness in his voice and assumedly, it was over the fact that the injured hand in question was the one that clutched the neck of his instrument. The klokateers silently nodded and each took an arm of Toki's in their grasps, rushing him out of the room and in the direction of the medicbay.

Once they were gone, Skwisgaar remembered to breathe again and picked up the knife once forgotten on the floor, tossing it angrily into the sink soon after. It was then that Toki's 'Deddybear' caught his attention and he moved towards it slowly, picking it up to gaze into its glossy, lifeless eyes. Toki had always been strangely close with the stupid thing since he had bought it, but since the return from his kidnapping, the two were inseparable. Skwisgaar contemplated leaving it where it was and going back to his original task, finding a woman (he was in the mood for an _FBL_ this evening) but something inside him… something he found rather un-metal and annoying… told him otherwise.

It was the same un-metal feeling that dragged him down to the medicbay, where he sat waiting for Toki while loosely holding Deddybear in his lap. Not without irritation, mind you. He was scowling when he heard the door open and watched as a damp faced Toki walked out, his hand now bandaged properly and hanging tiredly at his side. Skwisgaar stood and offered Deddybear to a bewildered Toki, who blinked up at him with surprise, before he ripped it from the other man's grasp and walked briskly down the corridor.

'...Dat's de thanks I gets?!" Skwisgaar bared his teeth and took off after him, huffing as he spoke out loud. "Ohs, your welcomes Toki, I didn'ts just waits an hour to see hows you were doings!" Skwisgaar was taken back when he was acknowledged with a fake laugh, stopping dead in his spot when his rhythm guitarist turned suddenly on the heel of his foot.

"Thanks _you_…? Thanks you, you caused dis to happens!" Skwisgaar looked utterly affronted and he didn't hold back a snarl, pointing a finger at the shorter of the two.

"Lets me reminds you, _you_ ams de phsyckos dats was stabbings-"

"I AMS NOTS A PHSYCKOS… PSYCHKOSPATHS!" Toki's scream echoed through the hallway, his blue eyes wide not with their usual childlike curiosity, but with anger and restlessness. "I KNOWS DATS WHAT YOU ALL AMS THINKINGS, BUT TOKI IS NOT CRAZIES! _HE'S NOT_!" Before Skwisgaar, who looked nothing but perturbed at his shouting could respond, Toki was stepping forward and pointing an accusing finger at him, making a point to jab it in his chest. "You a-all probablys… Laughs behinds my back, what else ams new… Hahaha, T-Toki's crazies! Probably laughed behinds my backs when I was holed up in dat f-fuckings cellar, hung upsides downs on a God damns crussificks!"

"Toki," Skwisgaar did not hold back from looking a little upset and disturbed at his stammering. "No ones woulds do dat—"

"DAN WHY DE FUCKS DIDS IT TAKES SO LONGS FOR YOU TO FINDS ME, HUHS?!" Toki was satisfied when Skwisgaar's mouth locked up tightly, pulling his Deddybear closer as his voice grew significantly quieter. "Yous p-p-probablys loved de facts I wasn'ts here… _E-espesicallys_ you… No mores little Toki to worries about, n-no more Toki to fucks up de latest g-guitar riffs! You all probablys never thoughts about me," Toki's icy eyes sparkled with something other than the happiness they used to shine bright with. "You alls probablys thoughts M… M-Magnus dids you a favor."

Toki and Skwisgaar's eyes locked for a solid and brooding few seconds. Skwisgaar saw then, undoubtedly, sadness well up in the other's eyes. Before he could speak another word, Toki had turned away and taken off, running barefoot down the corridor, more than likely into the refuge (or prison) that was his room.

-x-

_Well, for those who were able to make it past the first chapter, thank you very much. I know no one reads this shit, so don't feel bad if you stop reading right now. I just want to say I really appreciate critique, so don't be shy. This is my first Metalocalypse fanfic that I've written, and the first fanfic I've in written in a few years, so it's appreciated. This will be comprised of three chapters and is a part one of two, so there is a sequel planned. It will have much more of the other band members in it. Keep in mind, this is an interpretation of what's happening after Doomstar, so... erm, yeah, I'm sorry if it's shitty. Thanks again!_


	2. Chapter 2

Warning: Alcohol, drug use; sex; stuff. Please, if this really makes you uncomfortable, I wouldn't suggest reading it.  
Pairings: Skwisgaar/Toki, Skwistok, Wargelf, whatever you'd like to call it; mentions of Nathan/Abigail  
Genres: General/Romance/Angst/Comfort  
Summary: Terrible circumstances sometimes bring people closer in the strangest of ways. A traumatized Toki, now home after his kidnapping, finds solace in the arms of Skwisgaar. Slash. Post-Doomstar. Part 1 of 2.

I do not own _Metalocalypse_ or anything related to it. I do not own _Lunchables_.

I would like to use this space to thank my beta-reader, Wednesday1990, for taking the time to edit and read my story. God knows it needed it.

Warning: This is where it gets all raunchy and filthy. You've been warned.

-x-

Toki was curled up again in his bedroom, now with the lights on, with Deddybear securely seated on his lap. He usually slept curled up in a ball these days, which he found the most soothing, but he figured that sleep would not come to him any time soon. Although the night had proven exhausting, he just knew that the recent argument with Skwisgaar would induce a horrid tirade of nightmares. As of now, thankfully, the shakes had subsided, and he was just enjoying the peace his room now offered with the lights on. He toyed around with the idea of just staying up all night and working on a new model aircraft. Only then would he attempt to fall back to sleep, well after the sun rose. Most of the band slept well into afternoon hung over, anyway.

His thoughts were disrupted by a sharp knock on the door, causing him to jump a bit and his throat to hitch. He cursed his fears, sitting up and fighting not to shake again as he spoke, pulling Deddybear desperately to his chest. "...J-Ja…?"

His distinct, high pitched voice sounded meeker than usual to Skwisgaar, who opened his door once he heard it, finding Toki propped up against corner of the wall next to his bed. Toki blinked a few times before frowning, his injured hand still throbbing duly.

"Oh, it ams _yous_—" He was cut off when Skwisgaar held up the same bottle of vodka that he used earlier on him, not looking back as he swung the door shut.

"Wants to gets drunk?" Before Toki could answer, Skwisgaar sat at the foot of his bed and unscrewed the cap, taking a long swig from the bottle. Toki, still feeling moody, sat up a bit more and reached out for it once Skwisgaar finished his chugging.

"Maybes…" He felt himself scowl when he saw the corners of Skwisgaar's lips turn up in amusement. Only then did Skwisgaar finally grant him his wish and hand him the bottle, leaning back against the wall with a sigh.

"Sucks abouts your hand," he paused before he continued. "Shouldnt's have scareds you likes dat…" Toki, who took a deep sip as well, lowered the bottle slowly and watched as Skwisgaar stared across the room, at anything but him. "I just… Saws yous with dat knifes and… I dunno…" he finished with a shrug and finally looked over to his fellow guitarist, reaching to take the vodka from him.

"...I reallies was just tryings to opens my _Lunchables_," Toki lamented quietly, looking down at his bandaged hand before turning back to Skwisgaar. "It ams nots too bads, dey saids although it might stings, I shoulds be okies." Again, Skwisgaar was looking distantly across his bedroom, at something that neither man could see. He took the time to kick off his boots with a deep and resounding breath, taking a long sip of booze before he spoke again.

"We didn'ts forgets you, Toki," Skwisgaar languidly swirled the contents of the transparent liquid in the bottle he held, watching it slosh around as he did so. "We trieds," he admitted at length as he looked over at the other, Toki frozen by the weight of his stare. "We trieds, you knows, whats with de usuals… De ladies, de drinkings, de drugs…" he murmured with a sigh as he looked away once again. Hiding behind a veil of gold hair, he couldn't find himself able to actually look at the man that the band had finally acknowledged as their brother and saved, after a few weeks of trying to tell themselves otherwise. "Of course, we hads… Charles ands de klokateers lookin's days and nights… But we didn'ts… We didn'ts knows what to thinks or feels."

Toki reached out for the bottle of vodka in Skwisgaar's hand but didn't dare speak. Skwisgaar looked up to find the other watching him closely, his wide gaze filled with interest. "I don'ts… I justs don'ts thinks we wanteds to face what coulds have happeneds to you… And de band withouts yous. What with emotions beings… You know, homos and all…" Skwisgaar sighed and Toki then noticed, true to his nature, he was insinuating the plucking of strings on the inside of his thigh without even realizing it. "But we meants… We meants it when we calleds yous our brother, Toki. We ams glad to haves yous back. Evens if you ams still a dildoes."

Toki was left speechless, the vodka forgotten in his hand as he gaped at Skwisgaar, who plucked the bottle quickly from his hand to take another deep gulp. "Uh… ja. Dat's… Dat's abouts it…"

"...I… I knows… Just…" Toki trailed off as his bottom lip trembled. It was a shock to him that Skwisgaar, of all people, was the first to really open up about the whole ordeal apart from a few words. He tended to be stoic and in particular, harsh towards Toki. "I knows you all finds me annoyings and stupids and a bads guitarist—"

"Oh, c'mons Toki…" Skwisgaar sipped the vodka again before offering it to him. "We be doings dats to fucks with yous! I'm only hards on you 'cause I has to be."

"I knows… But… Sometimes, it's like you guys reallies feels dat way… And for a whiles," Toki paused, eyeing the bottle of vodka before chugging it for what felt like a whole minute, Skwisgaar watching with mild concern. "For a whiles, I didn'ts thinks you were comings. For Abigails or me. I was readies to die." Skwisgaar remained quiet for a few long moments. He found it best to take the bottle of vodka from Toki to try and keep it away from him for a little while, not before taking a long sip himself.

"We… We woulds never lets dat happen," Skwisgaar said quietly, to which Toki shrugged, looking at the ceiling. He didn't miss the sad, almost glazed over look the other had.

"It seemed dat way. I never thoughts I'd see daylights again… Never thoughts I'd see yous… De whole bands… Never thoughts I'd touch a guitars again… Pets a kitty… I thoughts it was my time." Toki, at this point, was feeling a slight buzz. Although sometimes that brought on nice feelings, it just as easily could make him feel down, as it was starting to now.

"Sometimes… Sometimes I'm scareds dis ams a dreams, you know?" Toki reached up to rub at the corner of one of his eyes, taking a deep breath. "Sometimes, I had nice dreams in dere… It was de only ways I ever felts at least a little bit okies, and it mades me thinks of de band…" Deddybear, which was forgotten at his side, was brought closer in a hasty attempt to feel comfort. "I'm waitings to wakes up and be backs in de darkness…" Toki fought to stay composed, swallowing down the sniveling he wanted to let out. It didn't go unseen by his lead guitarist, who continued to sit at the foot of his bed quietly, deciding that maybe… maybe Toki just needed to vent. And vent he did.

"And wells… M-Magnus…" The name made a cold chill run down Toki's spine, and he had to halt a moment or so before speaking again. "He… I thoughts he ams my friend… I just wanteds a friend…" Large eyes began to fill up with tears as he finally looked back to Skwisgaar. "You guys saids we ams only just band mates… Dat we shouldn'ts care about each other… He seemeds so nice…"

Skwisgaar sighed and ran an uneasy hand through his hair as he shrugged. "You knows hows it ams, Toki… Showings emotions isn'ts all dat… Well, metal… It amn'ts a personal slights towards you, but—"

"I knows, dat's just how you guys feels. Dat's why… You knows… I have other friends… Like Dr. Rockzo, ands—"

"Toki," Skwisgaar frowned, shaking his head, cutting his ramblings off abruptly. "Of course we ams your friends! Remember? ...We ams your _brothers_." Skwigaar held Toki's gaze, pointing at him with the mouthpiece of the vodka bottle. "Everyones else out dere? Dey ams either regular jacksoffs or bands who wish deys were as big as us. Dey don'ts _gets_ us. You don'ts needs anyone else." Toki felt his chest well up with joy at his admission. Skwisgaar took another sip of booze, he too feeling slightly inebriated.

"Buts… If you tells anyones I saids dat... I'll—" Skwisgaar was interrupted by his rhythm guitarist practically flinging himself against him, Toki's strong arms wrapping around his neck and nearly making him drop the glass bottle in surprise. Skwisgaar instinctually tensed up and looked nervously around the room. Apart from sexual touches, he didn't usually participate in such… intimacy.

"Thanks yous, Skwisgaar," Toki, in his drunkenness, couldn't hold back his warm feelings for the other. "You's… ones of my best friends…" For the first time in a long, long while, Toki felt happy. He felt safe and comfortable, despite his friend feeling otherwise. It weirded Skwisgaar out to feel Toki pressed up against him… he could feel his chiseled form up against his own torso, and after a light pat to the other's back, he made a point to push him away.

"Jaaaa…" He said at length, placing the bottle on the floor. "Whelp… I thinks it ams best... if we hits de hay…" Skwisgaar watched as Toki's face fell almost immediately, who quickly pulled the suddenly forgotten Deddybear protectively closer.

"Waits… I thoughts… We ams gonnas… hangs out!" Toki, who was definitely a bit drunk from the quick sips of alcohol they took, sat up and slightly pouted at the other, rubbing his injured palm subconsciously.

"Ja, we gots a littles drunks and talked… Whats de fuck else ams deres to do?" Skwisgaar raised an eyebrow at a dumbfounded Toki, who scratched his cheek sheepishly.

"...I dunno… Justs," Toki paused, hanging his head in shame, yet his icy eyes peered out from behind his curtain of chestnut hair. "I don'ts wanna be alones."

Skwisgaar was getting a bit irked by the boy. He didn't mind spending time with Toki, but he was tired and a little intoxicated, and his soft bed seemed like a nice place to settle in. Besides, he already had sacrificed getting laid, and if he was lucky, he still might be able to squeeze in a quick "appointment" with few lucky ladies.

"Oh, c'mons Toki, yous got… your bears thing…" Skwisgaar reached down from his spot to pick up his boots, readying himself to slip them on. "We ams all downs de hallways, nothings ams goings to happens—"

"B-but…" Toki's large eyes bore holes into Skwisgaar as he trembled, looking down at Deddybear before nervously looking back to his friend. "I-It ams at nights when I ams the most scareds… It ams at night, I gets nightmares… I reallies, _reallies_ thinks abouts it… Please… Justs for tonights…"

Skwisgaar glared at his friend for what felt like forever. Okay, he could practice guitar and even hang out with him, as it was common to do so (not without belittling him, of course), but asking him to spend the whole night with him, in what he assumed his bed, was not something he was interested in. For the love of God, they were two men in the most brutal band to ever live, it just wasn't right.

"Toki…" Skwisgaar watched as his friend raised his head to directly lock eyes with him. He could see his cheeks were red and rosy from crying, and the dark bags under his round, blue eyes. You'd have to be blind to not see that he was pleading with his lead guitarist to keep him company.

"Skwisgaar," Toki's voice choked, both from his grief and his slight intoxication, and he quietly sobbed before he spoke. "I cans remember… I cans remember de… De stale air… I-it smelts like a fuckings toilet," Toki inhaled deeply through his nose as he cried. "A-and… Dere were spiders everywheres, and rats, which were kinda cutes buts dirties, ands b-bloods on de floors, p-p-people screamings… at all t-times of de nights… a-and M-M-Magnus m-mades me e-eats outs of a d-dog bowl—"

"Okies, _okies_!" Skwisgaar cut him off right there, Toki about ready to break out into hysterics, with long, wet tears now sliding down his face. "Move de fucks over and shuts de hells up," Skwisgaar made no motion to remove any article of clothing as he crawled onto the single mattress behind the other male, his body pressed against the wall to create space between them. Skwisgaar was a ladies man, and he was certainly not accustomed to sharing a bed with another dude. "I swears to Gods, Toki, if you tells _anyone_—"

"I won'ts," was Toki's quiet response, not daring to turn around to face an angry Skwisgaar. He could feel his glower from behind and he didn't want to push an already testy lead guitarist. He was just thankful and amazed that Skwisgaar was actually staying.

The silence between the two of them was deafening as Toki reached over and turned off the light on his nightstand, quickly settling back on his side. Closing his eyes, he tried to sleep, fighting not to look back at the other man in curiosity. Skwisgaar, on the other hand, decided he was to stay awake till the other dozed off and he could safely sneak out. In the meantime, he was able to see the belongings that littered his bandmates room, as a small night light on the adjacent wall casted just enough to see.

He stared up at the many scale models that hung down from the ceiling via string, one in particular being the _Dethcopter_, and he could only roll his eyes. This room looked like it was decorated by a ten year old boy, which made sense considering Toki's demeanor. Really, he had posters decorating the walls, apart from the pictures of his creepy parents, actions figures strewn about, and coloring books with the lines hardly filled in. Skwisgaar tried not to be bothered by the idea that he was laying in the bed of a manchild and not in the arms of a woman, and as such, he closed his eyes and tried to will himself to rest a little.

Without thinking much about it, he turned his head in the direction of Toki, blindly facing the back of his head. It was then he realized something unsettling, and without really needing to, he opened his eyes. Toki actually… smelt rather good. Like sweet soap. He didn't smell like cologne or natural musk that men usually smelt like. He just smelt… nice. Without thinking too much about it, Skwisgaar pressed his face into the bed and in turn the other's long hair, which was spread out beside him. It was soft, and in what he assumed was due to a buzzed stupor, fought the urge to run his fingers through it.

"Skwisgaar?" His musings were interrupted, and as if he had been caught 'red-handed,' Skwisgaar lifted his cheek from his hair and blinked.

"Uhhh," he mimicked the tone of the other's voice and whispered. "Ja?"

"Oh, I justs checkings to sees if you ams awakes," Toki looked shyly over his shoulder at the band mate now in his bed. Toki, ever so slowly, turned over to face the other, his blankets rustling around him. For once in what seemed like in forever, he didn't have the strong urge to curl up. He felt perfectly comfortable out stretched beside his friend, though again, his hand ached ever so slightly. "I can't sleeps."

Skwisgaar gave one of his renowned "_pffts_" at his sudden declaration but overall he looked amused, tucking an arm behind his head in an effort to get more comfortable. "Pfft, it's beens like, five minutes."

Toki looked sheepishly down at Deddybear before meeting Skwisgaar's gaze, feeling all the more weird and stupid about asking the other to stay. "I knows, but stills."

There was a pregnant pause between the two guitarists who began to study one another in silence, neither realizing that the man they were scrutinizing in secret was doing the same in return.

There was no contest when it came to who was the most attractive band mate of Dethklok. Skwisgaar Skwigelf could have any woman he wanted, at any time or place without having to try in the slightest. Women of all types threw themselves at the bands lead guitarist, and fortunately for them, Skwisgaar liked women of literally _all types_, in particular the fat and the old. This strange preference never ceased to confuse the remainder of the band, as he never really offered an answer as to why.

Toki couldn't help but trace the long waves of his yellow hair with his eyes, the way they perfectly flowed across the back of his own pillow that Skwisgaar now took up residence. He felt himself growing hot as he studied his perfect bone structure, what with a prominent chin and cheek bones, his full lips, and those eyes, a color blue that could best be described as sapphire, which shone bright against his pale skin. Skwisgaar was truly an Adonis, and what with his arrogance with the guitar, it could be assumed he knew so.

Skwisgaar, too, in the short moment they locked eyes, took in Toki's appearance. Toki was… well, Toki. He had his cavalry of loyal fangirls who screamed his name and flashed him their breasts. What was strange was that… he didn't really do much about it. Oh, he definitely stared and stated his typical "_Wowee_!" at the sight of these gorgeous women, but Toki by no means slept with the same amount of groupies as his cohorts. If his room was anything to go by, he wasn't particularly promiscuous.

As for looks, though, girls were constantly gushing over how '_cute!_' he was. They found his wide, baby blue eyes mesmerizing, and his fu manchu mustache endearing. But what the girls really loved about Toki Wartooth was his body.

Skwisgaar, being the one to finally break their somewhat awkward staring looked back at the ceiling as he thought about the other's physique (a little longer than he cared to). Toki had a perfect six pack, muscular biceps, and perfectly cut hips in the shape of a 'v'. The band, including himself, were quietly envious of his young and healthy build. The rare moments Toki removed his shirt during a show would cause a tirade of screams and cries from countless groupies, and the moron thought little of it, or at least acted like he did.

"Hey Skwisgaar?" Both men pushed these bewildering thoughts to the best of their abilities to the deepest parts of their mind as Toki remembered his voice. "...Wanna plays de guitarists' game?" This was supplemented with the forgotten liquor bottle on the ground, which Toki now lifted as an offer.

"Mmmmm," Skwisgaar sighed and after he took the bottle of booze from the other, stretched a bit in his spot to get cozy. "Ja, sure. You starts."

Toki could barely suppress a smile. He found himself to be rather good at this game, but he knew all too very well that Skwisgaar was, too. "Keithks Richards." After a quick swig, Skwisgaar tapped his fingers against his mattress to the tune of some unknown song as he quickly reflected an answer.

"Stephens Stills," He smirked as he watched Toki's face contort in thought, his rhythm guitarist taking the bottle of vodka from him.

"Uh, uh," he hesitated. "Steve Croppers?"

"Oh, dat's a goods one…" Skwisgaar only had to ponder for a moment or two before shooting off another name. "Randy Rhoads."

"Randy Rhoads? He's reallies, reallies good."

"Ja, ever hears him play '_Mr. Crowleys_' lives? He sounds so fuckings good."

Toki went off to say the next guitarist, followed by Skwisgaar, and the two continued to blurt our names for what felt like for hours, the bottle of vodka continuously passed between them. Both men were starting to get more drunk as the game went on, and Skwisgaar could practically feel the room spin. Despite this, it was safe to say Toki was even worse. He kept trying to sit up by leaning on his arm only to plop right back down soon after, his eyes drooping in what appeared to be a happy though intoxicated state.

"Uhhhhhh…" Toki was struggling to come up with a response to Skwisgaar's, 'Billy Gibbons,' his fuzzy mind drawing a blank. His answers were taking longer and longer the more sips he took. As if he knew, Skwisgaar sneered as he crossed both arms behind his head, raising an eyebrow as he awaited an answer.

"Nothings, hmmmm? Well, you knows what dats means… 3… 2… 1…"

"Skwisgaar Skwigelf," was Toki's smug response, flashing a wide grin at his lead guitarist, who sat there looking stunned for a moment at the other's victorious leer.

"...Whys de fucks... did it takes yous so longs to says _my_ name?" After slurring this comment, Toki blinked at him before breaking into a fit of laughter, while Skwisgaar merely grinned. Skwisgaar then realized that Toki was now leaning against him, his bandaged hand resting on the other's chest to steady his drunken swaying. For how long he was doing this, he wasn't sure, but for some reason, Skwisgaar didn't find himself minding all that much. "Oh ands… Franks Zappa."

Toki, with this, burst out into more drunken giggling, which was a rare sound to be heard within the halls of Mordhaus since his return. Toki hadn't felt this good in a long, long time. He knew he was really drunk, and it was probably why he was so complacent with his friend snaking an arm around his middle, in an attempt to further help the inebriated man from falling over.

"You reallies… You reallies are narc… narcissiticks," Toki snorted as the now forgotten Deddybear laid flat on his back beside them, struggling to speak in his current state. Skwisgaar too sounded drunk, albeit not as bad as his cohort, his eyes half-hooded in content.

"Comes wids beings... de bests guitarists in de worlds," With his free hand, Skwisgaar raised the nearly empty bottle of vodka to his lips, careful to tilt his head back to properly stop himself from spilling its remains. From above, Toki snorted with more laughter as he lightly clung to his shirt.

"It comes… wids beings a totals dick," Toki said, practically yanking the bottle away from the other.

"Pfft, whatevers… whatevers you says, you crybabies," Toki proceeded to pout and turn the now empty bottle of vodka over, letting out a groan before dropping it on the floor. Thankfully it didn't break but only rolled to the other side of his room. "See, deres you goes… Cryings out louds, as per usuals…"

"We ams… Outs of booze…" Toki let out a small hiccup. "Nots a crybabies…" Toki was now staring down at Skwisgaar, and he finally managed to realize that he was pressed up against his body. He also noticed that it felt rather nice and warm. He smelled very lightly of cologne, the smell fresh but not at all overpowering.

Toki slowly smiled down at his band mate, his eyes blinking slowly as his assaulted hand balled up in a fist around Skwisgaar's shirt, which somewhat helped with his slight wobbling. His palm's aching seemed far away, bringing along with it his sobriety and the vivid nightmares from earlier. "Yous ams warm…" Was all he managed to murmur out, and Skwisgaar, what with Toki's rather dreamy stare, was unsure if he meant to say that out loud or not.

Skwisgaar studied the other's rather silly expression, but didn't feel the need to snicker or, even stranger, to push Toki away. Quite the contrary… Toki felt nice just where he was, and although he was leaning his weight on him, Skwisgaar was rather familiar with erm… heavier lovers… With his long hair cascading down the sides of his face, Toki looked serene and happy for the first time since his return to the band. It was easy to reason that Toki enjoyed their proximity, and that if it made his rhythm guitarist content, and maybe even play better, he was justified when he pulled Toki even closer to him.

"So ams you," Skwisgaar murmured softly and hesitantly, he reached a skilled hand upwards to brush hair behind Toki's ear. His touch was just barely there and it left almost as soon as it came.

Toki, still looking quite drunk, stared down at his lead guitarist till he did something that nearly made Skwisgaar Skwigelf laugh. His face, already a bit red from drinking, flushed all the more at his touch. It was an interesting little reaction that Skwisgaar received, and through his drunken musings, he wondered just what caused little Toki to do such a thing…

Skwisgaar told himself not to think about it too much as he traced a long finger against Toki's cheek, smiling slowly when the other man gave a soft shudder, his eyebrow tweaking upwards in interest.

"What… What ams you doings…?" With a small hiccup, Toki managed to mumble this aloud, his face still red, and he took notice that the hair on both of his arms was standing. Although the touch was fleeting, it left a chill that traveled from his head to his toes.

Skwisgaar stared up at the other, unsure how to answer. What _was_ he doing? Why the fuck was he lying in bed with his rhythm guitarist, drunk as all hell, and touching his face at that? '_To makes him happy,_' he told himself. That's when a darker voice decided to join his personal conversation. '_Ands to make _me_ happy, evens for just tonight_,' he thought rather smugly as he began to slowly sit, his mind made up. Skwisgaar decided words were no longer necessary. A firm hand took a hold of the back of Toki's scalp, whom in response let out a light hiss at the rough handling, both out of surprise and a slight sting.

"S… Skwisgaar, what ams you—" Abruptly, Toki's mouth was pressed against a set of full lips, his eyes growing wide, not budging an inch in surprise as he tried to process the situation. It was nothing more than that, their lips mashed together for what felt like a full minute before Skwisgaar let him go. His hand fell sluggishly from Toki's hair as he watched the other with a small smirk, as if he was confident that he would fall right into his arms for more.

Toki's heart raced as he attempted to sit straight, feeling his face grow hotter as the seconds ticked by, the hand still clutching Skwisgaar's shirt twitching. Skwisgaar… Skwisgaar just _kissed_ him. He repeated this to himself not just once, not just twice, but a few times as to let the gravity of the situation sink deep into his head.

Skwisgaar continued to look haughty as he opened his mouth to speak, taking a deep breath. Toki's gawking was a bit unnerving, and at an attempt to ease the awkwardness (and ever growing doubt within him), was about to crack a familiar, if not demeaning joke about the man he had just kissed. Before he could utter a sound, Skwisgaar was cut off when two muscular arms wrapped around his neck and pulled him closer, Toki simply mewling when their lips met for a second time.

Skwisgaar, happy with the results, didn't stay still for long and quickly wrapped both arms around his waist, not wasting time as he nipped at the other's lip, at first gently and slow but soon hard enough to hurt. Toki gasped at the first firm bite and inadvertently allowed the other to slip his tongue into his mouth, his whole body growing more and more lax as he let Skwisgaar take over.

He was the more experienced lover, after all, and it showed with the way Skwisgaar's tongue twisted and moved, paralyzing him. Soon Toki felt his back hitting the mattress and Skwisgaar's hands holding him there by his hips to keep him right where he wanted. The leading man broke the kiss momentarily to let them both regain their breath, but he soon claimed his mouth again, their teeth scraping together once or twice as it grew more and more ravenous. Skwisgaar could feel Toki's signature facial hair tickle his face and could taste booze fresh in his mouth, finding both surprisingly pleasing.

Toki was wondering where the fuck _this_ was coming from. Skwisgaar was the "_Lothario_" of the group and he had shown no prior interest in Toki before. He never showed interest in any other men from what he noticed, either. But what Toki really wanted to know, though, was why _he_ was letting this happen.

Since his return to Mordhaus, Toki had felt little to no arousal. Sex was the last thing on his mind as he tried to pick up the pieces of the tragedy recently known as his life. Now, however, he felt himself kissing Skwisgaar with ferocity, tasting vodka on his tongue, his hands winding their way through the soft waves of his hair. Toki, who had always enjoyed the intimacy of kissing and cuddling, was drinking it up like a cat and a bowl of milk, wanting more and more of the other's mouth. He wanted comfort… he wanted warmth and safety… and he was getting in the arms of Skwisgaar.

His passionate thoughts were interrupted when he felt a thumb slightly snake up the hem of his shirt, exploring the taut skin where his happy trail started. As if curious, Skwisgaar's hand quickly invited itself upwards for more.

"Ngh," Toki let out a small sound once Skwisgaar pulled off, his lips now feeling slightly swollen and throbbing thanks to the mouth that was now doing quick work to his neck. He felt teeth graze against his pulse and he let out a light gasp when one of his nipples was tweaked, feeling himself blush all the more when Skwisgaar leered against his flesh in between his biting. His lead guitarist took the liberty to run a hand along the length of his leg and soon within the inside of his thigh, Toki panting a tad as he tried to speak.

"Skwis… Skwisgaar, dis… _Fucks_…" Skwisgaar silenced him with a twist and pull to the sensitive bud in between his long fingers, giving a deep hum in between the kisses against Toki's Adam's apple.

"Shuts ups… and enjoys dis," he instructed, happy wAhen he was only met with a tiny whimper.

Skwisgaar figured, at least in his intoxication, that he was going to make the best of the evening for the both of them and there was simply nothing wrong with that. Sex was sex, right? As of now, the fact that Toki was his bandmate, and that this could lead to a series of issues later, didn't cross his hazy mind. He assured himself this was more than fine as he sat up to pull Toki's shirt over his head, smirking down at his now dazed friend, whose face was positively scarlet. Toki, drunk now on the attention and alcohol, did not protest, and looked up at Skwisgaar with expectant, come hither eyes.

To Skwisgaar, Toki looked absolutely delectable right now in the shallow glare the nightlight provided. He could see the contours of his abs and his pelvis, pronounced and sticking out from his ridiculous pajama bottoms. His cheek was pressed into his pillow, face slightly to the side, his eyes shut tight. Both hands clutched at his sheets loosely, as if ready to tighten up at what was to come soon, and his legs were slightly parted. If this was done consciously or not, it was not known, but to Skwisgaar it was an invitation to fill up the space between them.

Toki felt the other's lithe frame slip its way between his legs, followed by the sensation of being grabbed by his hips. Wasting no time, his bandmate surprised him by dragging the younger man straight onto his lap and in turn, onto his hardening groin. Toki's eyes shot open when he felt a swell of flesh against the inside of his thigh, and he cursed his drunkenness as he tried to steady his gaze. Skwisgaar was grinning down at him like the Cheshire cat, his thumbs smoothing over the bone of his hips as he let out a long purr.

"Don'ts look... so surpriseds," Almost mockingly, Skwisgaar leaned forward, his hair brushing against Toki's bare shoulders as he pecked his lips. "Yous gots a boners, too," If to make a point, Skwisgaar leaned forward enough to press his lower stomach against Toki's dick, which was now poking firmly into his flesh, earning a humored 'pfft.' Toki didn't have too much time to dwell on it as the other began to mouth at the skin on his shoulders, his hands running along his smooth chest, and he let out a light moan when he began again to nip and lick at his neck again.

Skwisgaar, early on in his exploration of Toki Wartooth, paused in his ministrations as his fingers made their way along his ribs. Toki shuddered at the touch of his digits, calloused after years of playing the guitar, on such a ticklish part of his anatomy. After a moment or so of lost contact, he wondered why Skwisgaar was no longer touching him. When a long finger traced his newly obtained scar, Toki took a deep breath and fought not to let out a grunt of disapproval, suddenly feeling extraordinarily shy. The crude stitching, which was provided by Magnus with a needle and string, looked utterly repugnant to Toki. It was a very real reminder as to what happened to him those few grueling months.

"I-I… I knows… it ams ugly…" Toki's back was like a canvas of scars thanks to his father's series of punishments, and remembering these imperfections only made him feel worse. He was about to attempt to squirm free to cover himself before the hands of the man above him grabbed onto his wrists, firmly holding him in place.

"Ams nots ugly," was his soft response, Toki looking up at a still drunk Skwisgaar, who now was leaning down to place a soft kiss on one of his nipples, causing a new set of tingles to travel down his spine.

"Gots a greats body…" Skwisgaar promised him before he took the same nipple between his lips and sucked it, grabbing onto his hips again when Toki gasped and arched his back. The feeling of the other man's wet tongue made his cock twitch as he had never had his nipples sucked before. Usually he thought of it as something a woman would want, but he found himself moaning with approval the more Skwisgaar did it.

His hips jerked upwards on their own accord when the other man scraped his teeth against the little nub. Unintentionally their bodies crashed together, and Toki was awarded his first moan from Skwisgaar. Although people usually found his voice both comical and hard to understand, right now it sounded rather harmonious, even if it was muffled up against him. Skwisgaar, taking his rhythm guitarist's accidental lead, used the leverage on his body to press his erection up against his ass, Toki letting out a choked moan. He could feel his firmness and girth through the thin material of his pants.

Skwisgaar repeated this more than once, taking his time with every grind, fascinated by the feeling of his ass. He was by no means a girl, and he knew he shouldn't be surprised to find it as firm as the rest of his body, but it felt rather… well, surprisingly shapely up against his dick.

Toki, on the other hand, felt utterly confused; the friction felt good… actually, _really_ good, a little _too_ good, considering he was always told since he was a child that men didn't do such things like this together. This idea was only further pounded into his head by his bandmates.

He was jerked out of his musings when he was pushed back down onto the mattress, opening his eyes to look up at the blonde resting above him. When Skwisgaar began to pull down his pants, looking determined and needy, Toki took a deep breath and once again attempted to speak.

"Ams… we…?" He still was rather drunk and unsure how this was going to proceed. Skwisgaar was definitely in charge and he didn't have much more time to ask as his pants and boxers were yanked down together in one firm pull, Toki feeling a new wave of embarrassment. Skwisgaar looked both curious and lustful as he eyed his privates, and Toki began to writhe at the notion of being scrutinized.

"Ams we whats…?" Skwisgaar swayed a little in his spot as he sat on the back of his calves, running his fingers along the inside of Toki's thigh, looking up with pride when the other man curved his back once again and visibly hitched his breath.

"I… I don'ts know... Dis ams movings kinda—_Nghhhh_!" Toki's drowned on his own voice when he felt wetness on his dick, taking a moment or so to realize it was Skwisgaar's tongue moving across the head of his cock. Skwisgaar, who was only experienced at giving oral to women, figured it couldn't be too different with a dick… they both have a shit load of nerve endings, right? How much more difficult could it be...?

With confidence, he twirled his tongue across the underside of Toki's shaft, following the trail of a large vein, his fingers still playing with the inside of the other man's legs. He was all the more encouraged when he looked up to see Toki sucking on his bottom lip and shutting his eyes tight. Skwisgaar took this as a cue to finally take him into his mouth, at first just the tip, and then whatever else he could fit without gagging.

Toki finally cried out fully, throwing his head back as the other began to slowly move his head up and down. A hand wrapped firmly around what Skwisgaar couldn't manage to swallow and his tongue traced shapes along the sensitive flesh it could reach. Toki panted raggedly as he forced an eye open, staring down in amazement at what he was both witnessing and feeling.

_The_ Skwisgaar Skwigelf of Dethklok was going down on him, hunched over with his eyes closed as if he too was enjoying it. Toki bucked upwards in surprise when teeth ever so gently brushed against the head, Skwisgaar nearly choking, both large hands pushing his ass down onto the bed to keep him in place. He gave him a quick disapproving look, as Toki was by no means "small", but his eyes closed contently when an apologetic hand ran its way through his mane.

"S-s-sorries… Justs… Holy shit, Skwisgaar…" Toki managed to utter out, not without difficulty. "Your mouths… Fucks… Kindas deep!" Skwisgaar fought not to snort unattractively at his mutterings, deciding to hum around his flesh instead, the vibrations making Toki twist and gasp in pleasurable surprise.

Skwisgaar was wondering just how far Toki would allow him to go. He had attempted to say that they were moving 'rather fast,' earlier, which made him wonder, just how experienced _was_ Toki? He knew for a fact that this wasn't his first time being sexual, but still, the guitarist seemed to be rather hung up on '_makings out_' with girls rather than finding himself in their jeans.

Besides, Skwisgaar was painfully aroused at this point, finding his loins throbbing at every gasp and every twitch from the younger man, as well as the gentle pulling of his hair every time he managed to swallow his prick. Although Toki wasn't traditionally the type of body Skwisgaar found beneath him during sex, he was more than eager to experiment at this point in the game, and he was wondering if Toki would be a willing candidate to what he was about to do.

Toki let out a disappointed whine when he felt his now wet hard on hit cold air. Though it was difficult, he managed to snap his eyes open and sit up slightly in his bed, bemused as he watched Skwisgaar slip off him. He didn't fail to notice that he nearly stumbled in his drunkenness.

"What… What ams you doings?" Toki tried to catch his breath as he wiped his sweating brow across his forearm, pulling away in time to catch the sight of a shirtless Skwisgaar. He received no answer as the other undid the skull buckle to his belt and soon the zipper to his jeans, eagerly pushing them down to the ground, giving Toki a full view of his body with not too much thought into it.

Toki was well aware of Skwisgaar's stature, as he was commonly described as being "_as tall as a tree_," and was the tallest member of Dethklok. Though right now—and Toki wasn't sure if it was because of his place in bed or because his depth perception was being toyed with by serious amounts of alcohol—Skwisgaar seemed to be _towering_ over him.

He appeared to take notice to Toki's wide eyed stare and he smirked, intentionally tilting his head backwards to stretch his long torso further, his hair tumbling down his back radiantly. He could practically feel Toki's eyes travel down the flat plane of his stomach, his protruding hips and ribs, and quickly to his ever eager dick. He was fully erect and as always, happy to have attention on it, whether by skin or just looks alone.

Toki couldn't help but realize how _big_ he was well… down _there_. Technically, it wasn't the first time he'd seen a bare naked Skwisgaar. He was pretty sure when drunk, he'd seen him flaunt his tool around for a few floozies they all had invited back into their dressing room more than once. But for some reason, maybe because _he_ caused this most recent erection, Skwisgaar's length seemed all the more large and thick, as well as _intimidating_. Toki finally looked away from his groin when the man he was oogling directed a question at him.

"Lube?" Was all Skwisgaar asked, placing both palms on either side of Toki as he captured his mouth, nipping at his bottom lip. Toki felt him pull teasingly at the flesh before he released it, Skwisgaar raising an eyebrow as he waited for an answer.

"Ummmm," Toki finally realized he'd been gaping the whole time he was eyeing his lead guitarist and shut his mouth with a 'click' of his teeth, needing a moment to think before he could answer his question. "What?"

Skwisgaar shot him an unimpressed look, sitting on the side of the bed closest to the door, taking the privilege to open Toki's night table. "Yous… ams a dildoes sometimes, Toki, do you haves lube or nots...?" He did not look forward to the idea of going back to his bedroom to grab his own stash, now already naked and most definitely sporting wood.

Toki shifted uncomfortably in his spot as he watched the other man look through his belongings. He wanted to ask, '_Whys do we needs that?_' but even drunk, he knew the answer all too well, and he wasn't exactly sure if he was okay with it.

"Well, uh… I… I thinks so?" Toki's guess was correct as Skwisgaar soon produced a bottle of lube with a knowing smirk, closing the nightstand with intentional delicateness as he turned to the his friend, using his free hand to grab ahold of his chin.

"You thinks corrects, little Toki." Using the leverage on his face, his fingers feeling the bristles of his Fu Manchu, he pulled him close for a quick kiss, one with a light dancing of tongues, before he let him go to crawl back into the place between his legs.

"Um… Skwisgaar," If nervousness was evident in Toki's voice, Skwisgaar made no comment about it. Instead, he went about opening the lube he found to curiously squeeze some in between his index finger and thumb. "Haves you… You knows… Ever dones anythings likes dis?" Skwisgaar rubbed the liquid between his two fingers with a small shrug, gazing lustfully in the direction of Toki.

"Anal? Ja… With _goils_, ja…" Pouting, Toki didn't feel any more comforted by this admission. He was certainly no girl! And he wasn't exactly sure just yet how he felt about being in the… "girl's position" as it was, and with how things were turning out, that's exactly where it looked like he was going to end up. Skwisgaar, oblivious to his inner turmoil or ignoring the signs of it on his face, pushed Toki's leg upwards to rest a knee against his stomach. With his ass now exposed to the other man, Toki struggled to find his voice box.

"Skwisgaar," He finally managed to talk with the clear signs of uneasiness in his voice, "Waits a—"

Toki was barely able to start his sentence when he felt a wet, cold finger trace the crack of his ass and delve into his most private of areas. Skwisgaar looked triumphant when he felt his finger breach the tight ring of muscle after a little pushing, Toki left only to squeak and tense up at the feeling of such a new intrusion.

Skwisgaar felt him strain around his finger, looking to the face of the younger man inquisitively, which seemed to be frozen in a mix of shock and embarrassment. His cheeks were as red as ever and his teeth chewed nervously on the bottom of his lip in attempt to silence any other little noise that dared to try and leave him. '_Has to change dats,_' Skwisgaar thought smugly, taking the liberty to slip his finger deeper inside him, in awe of how tight he felt, but not at how smooth and wet. It made Skwisgaar ache all the more as he leaned forward to plant kisses across his partner's throat, who finally let out a small noise.

The feeling of a finger inside him wasn't necessarily painful, but more or less unfamiliar and uncomfortable, and it only felt stranger when it snaked its way further inside him. He tried not to concentrate on the feeling too much, focusing to the best of his abilities on the lips nipping insistently at his skin.

It became nearly impossible to stay distracted when he felt Skwisgaar pull his finger in and out of him in one fluid motion, Toki closing his eyes tightly and unable to stop a mewl from escaping. He could feel a grin against his neck as well as the finger inside him, which was working slowly but methodically.

Skwisgaar began to kiss down Toki's chest affectionately, feeling him shiver when his tongue licked down his diaphragm to his navel, swirling around his belly button suggestively. His finger probed different areas within him, trying to find that place deep inside Toki that he figured went unexplored.

He knew he was closer to his destination when Toki began to actually moan at his fingering, Skwisgaar slipping in a second finger when he deemed him ready, to which Toki shuddered. He tensed once again but relaxed much easier this time, and although it again made it uncomfortable, Skwisgaar began to practically fill him up to his knuckle, crooking his fingers experimentally and happy with what it achieved.

Toki's eyes nearly crossed when he felt something deep inside him, something that he had never felt before, activate in a quick jolt of pleasure. Skwisgaar knowingly repeated this, earning him a long, high-pitched groan from his rhythm guitarist, who sought purchase by digging a hand into his tormentor's back. This new feeling happened over and over again with every poke, and Toki could have nearly shot his load right then, not even caring that his lead guitarist was getting some mild amusement from this turn of events.

"Goods, little Toki…?" he whispered as he nipped at his inner thigh, teasingly pressing his tongue against his balls, intentionally taking his time as he did so. Toki felt himself flush from head to toe and he could only nod, gaining a hum of approval from the other and a long lick to his hard on.

Toki's moans got a bit more warbly when a third finger forced its way inside him, and for the first time he felt an ache between his legs. It was dawning on him again as Skwisgaar lapped at his manhood that this very act was happening only to prepare him, and he could only imagine the pain that a dick of Skwisgaar's size could bring him. He tried not to think about it and inadvertently tense up, and a suck to the head of his cock was a decent interruption to these concerned reflections.

He felt empty when Skwisgaar's hand removed itself from his opening, and disappointed again when he pulled his mouth off him, too. The idea of Skwisgaar and him having sex was beginning to sober him a little, and with shaky arms, he sat up to see the other man prep himself, watching him glide cool lubricant over his length with a tremor.

A part of him told himself that maybe this was a bad idea, that things would be vastly different between Skwisgaar and he, and they may never be the same and for the worst. He wondered if this crossed Skwisgaar's mind when he turned to him, his eyes staring deep into Toki's, his shoulders heaving upwards with heavy breaths.

The thoughts in Toki's head were quickly dashed away when Skwisgaar leaned closer and ran a hand through the other's hair, tenderly so, and brought them together for a passionate kiss. The last was too short for his liking, and Toki was about to reach out to pull the other man closer but was surprised when Skwisgaar moved away, licking his lips as he did so. Although gently, Toki found himself flipped onto his stomach, feeling dizzy for a second or two, but not enough to miss the feeling of his hips being drawn upwards, and in turn fully baring his backside to his friend and band mate.

Toki blinked before he sheepishly gazed over his shoulder, taking in the sight of Skwisgaar looking like a starved wolf before a slaughtered lamb. His fingers twitched before they grabbed firmly onto his ass to spread him, drawing a gasp from the guitarist standing on all fours. Toki looked at his pillow nervously before he stared back again, his body involuntarily jumping when he felt the hot flesh of the other's prick against his cleft.

"S… Skwisgaar…" If he took his name as a cue to continue, Skwisgaar showed it by pressing his hips forward and applying enough pressure to suddenly slip inside of Toki. He filled him halfway with one smooth thrust and Toki fought not to scream at the sudden invasion. He'd be a liar if he said tears weren't threatening to wet the corners of his eyes.

He had planned on asking his friend to be gentle and considerate, as it was obvious this was not anything he had attempted before, but remembered too late as his behind seared with pain. Both men were members of the most brutal band in the world, and sex between them could never possibly be gentle. It took all the power within him not to cry out in agony, his insides throbbing around Skwisgaar, but he did let out a low groan as he shook against him.

Skwisgaar, however, felt like he was in _heaven_. Toki was incredibly tight, so very soft yet firm and with the lube slick. Clenched around him, he was passage that was practically begging to be fucked into oblivion. He did, however, have the decency to stay still so Toki could learn to accommodate his size, as he seemed to be in a state of shock. His body was as stiff as a board beneath him, and Skwisgaar could hear his short, ragged wheezing.

The sound of his voice was just one of the many obvious signs of just who he was sleeping with: Toki Wartooth, his rhythm guitarist. His long brown hair, his back full of scars, his taught, muscular ass. He could be no one else, and to Skwisgaar's surprise, he didn't want him to be. There was a sinister piece of Skwisgaar that knew he was going to take pride in fucking Toki, in _dominating_ him, and it just seemed oh so fitting for a lead guitarist to do to his rhythm counterpart.

Finally, Toki had begun to sluggishly move, and Skwisgaar was relieved to feel him grow a little less tense. He knew moving was difficult for a trembling Toki as he chose to rest on his forearms instead of his palms, which now clung tightly to his sheets. Putting all of his weight on his hands was a bit difficult with his recent injury.

Already, Toki felt weak, and he only began to shake more with anticipation when he felt the tips of Skwisgaar's hair dance across his shoulders. He could feel him shift from the inside as he leaned over to press his lips against the closest part of his ear, which was close enough to smell the vodka on his breath.

"_I am going to fuck your brains out_," Toki's eyes widened at this warning, his native Norwegian close enough for him to comprehend Swedish. Before he could even take another quivering breath, Skwisgaar delivered a shallow but swift thrust inside him. It drew an abrupt and surprised yelp from Toki, who balled his fingers up in the sheets again and crammed his eyes closed, Skwisgaar grabbing onto his hips forcefully when he repeated it.

Toki could feel Skwisgaar sliding in and out of him, at first not much, but as time went on, the other's cock was almost close to slipping out before quickly filling him back up. As of now, every thrust was painful, and Toki could only imagine how it would feel without booze. He was growing used to it, and it even began to feel a little good, though not to the degree were Toki could figure out why gay men did it regularly.

Skwisgaar, who had found the right spot when preparing Toki, hadn't yet found it again, but Toki knew he was trying. He felt him dig his fingers tightly into his pelvis with every powerful push and could hear him now panting, feeling him attempt to adjust his hips to better accommodate his lover. "Lover" was a strange thought to Toki, and it made his head spin all the more with the sensations going on behind him, but he did take comfort knowing that Skwisgaar was at least trying to help him enjoy himself

Breathing heavily through his nose and cocking his tongue out in concentration, Skwisgaar closed his eyes at the bombardment of pleasure. If he had known Toki had felt this great, maybe he would have tried this a long time ago. His hands slowly traveled up his sides, again running across his ribs and that aforementioned scar before they settled at the curve of his ass, Skwisgaar satisfied by the little jump it earned him. He decided with the next thrust to slide deeper into him, happy when Toki moaned out and tossed his head backwards in surprise, his back arching as if his body begged for more.

Toki inadvertently shifted his hips and saw stars when Skwisgaar brushed up against his prostate, his whole body violently jerking when he first hit, and he could have sworn a small chuckle was mixed into Skwisgaar's heavy breathing. Skwisgaar happily began to aim in that direction, at this point picking up his speed, glad that it produced louder and quicker sounds from Toki. The man below him was now practically clawing at his sheets, his body fighting not to wiggle at the onslaught of sensations going on inside him.

"Skwis… Skwisssgaar!" his voice almost sounded like a hiccup as he attempted to speak. His distinct, high pitched tone of his seemingly drove Skwisgaar wild, Toki now able to feel his balls hitting his ass with every sudden and harsh thrust. His flow was getting stronger and needier as time went by and surprisingly, Toki found himself _loving_ it. It was still a bit painful, but the sting provided a rush as it faded into pleasure. His body now fully welcomed his dick, and Skwisgaar groaned when he opened his eyes to the sight of Toki widening his legs.

"M… More… Skwisgaar, _more_…" The rest of his speech was a garbled mix of English and Norwegian, his voice faint and hoarse from moaning, "_God, more_… " He shuddered when a strong hand wound its way through his mane and pulled forcefully, almost enough tear a little hair out. Again, the strange combination of pain and pleasure felt strangely refreshing, Skwisgaar grabbing at his hair like a set of reigns. He was now putting his full weight into his thrusts, Toki's bed creaking noisily beneath them, but not nearly as loud as the youngest member of Dethklok, who was moving forward and back against the momentum of his fucking.

"Says… My name," It was more of a demand, a rough growl from the man penetrating him, and Toki, although it took him a moment or so, had to comply.

"Skwisgaar!" Toki was shaking by now, his legs feeling like jello, his heart beating frantically in his chest.

"Again!" Skwisgaar ordered with a firm tug to his hair, Toki whaling and pushing his ass back further onto his length, no longer embarrassed, just wanting to seek relief from what was building up inside him. He had a familiar feeling growing below his navel, but much more powerful to the point it was painful, and Skwisgaar knew he was drawing close by tremors deep within Toki.

"Skwisgaar… Fucks, _Skwisgaar_," Toki felt like he was sobbing in pleasure. "_My dick_… Touch… _Please_!" Skwisgaar, whose own eyes were screwed shut, blindly reached a hand forward. After a few shaky tries he was able to find his cock, squeezing him gently with his fist before jerking him off, successfully pushing the younger man over the edge.

Toki's whole body tensed and both men could feel it, and the receiver felt the unusual sensation of his dick leaking. It only took a few more thrusts from Skwisgaar before he was coming to completion, his thrusting strong enough to send it shooting across the mattress, Toki practically shouting Skwisgaar's name as it happened.

Skwisgaar felt his friend tighten around him, and unable to help himself, grabbed him forcefully by the pelvis and began slamming ruthlessly. He only stopped once he felt himself fill Toki with cum, feeling his own warmth seep throughout the now spent and almost lifeless body lying underneath him as he rode out the rest of his orgasm.

Toki, in the endorphins created by sex, felt lazy and warm all over. He could feel Skwisgaar practically collapse on top of him, could feel him nuzzle his nose within his scalp and whisper dirty words to him. His hands ran along almost every inch of his body, he too shaking in the afterglow. He winced in pain when the other man removed himself, not thinking right now about how sore he'd feel in the morning, and he was putty when the other guitarist pulled him against his chest.

Toki let Skwisgaar spoon him, comforted by his breathing, feeling his chest rise and fall against his back. His last memory was the nice feeling of Skwisgaar's fingers tiredly playing invisible frets against his ribs, unsure if he was doing this consciously or not. He was trying to stay awake, trying to enjoy the moment, trying to process it, but slowly his eyes became too heavy and he fell into, for what felt like the first time in a thousand years, a state of dreamless unconsciousness.

-x-

_So, you actually read this, hm? You filthy little heathen, who are you, me? Sorry if there is a lot of mistakes I just couldn't edit it anymore because I'm a lazy bum. I've written and role played lemons before but I've never actually published one, so if it's garbage you know why. Um, yeah. Review and stuff, let me know how you feel. Thank you to everyone who has supported me thus far, I love each and every one of you. One more chapter to go, and then I get to working on part two!_


	3. Chapter 3

Warning: Alcohol, drug use; sex; stuff. Please, if this really makes you uncomfortable, I wouldn't suggest reading it.  
Pairings: Skwisgaar/Toki, Skwistok, Wargelf, whatever you'd like to call it; mentions of Nathan/Abigail  
Genres: General/Romance/Angst/Comfort  
Summary: Terrible circumstances sometimes bring people closer in the strangest of ways. A traumatized Toki, now home after his kidnapping, finds solace in the arms of Skwisgaar. Slash. Post-Doomstar. Part 1 of 2.

I do not own _Metalocalypse_ or anything related to it.

I would like to use this space to thank my beta-reader, Wednesday1990, for taking the time to edit and read my story. God knows it needed it.

-x-

Skwisgaar, although hungover, woke up feeling a wonderful combination of heat and satisfaction thanks to the events of the previous night. He was used to waking up with another body by his side, but Skwisgaar didn't need to open his eyes to tell this room was certainly not his own. He kept his eyes closed as he reached for the lump beside him to run a hand across the cotton sheets he was entangled in. They were distinctly different from the rich fur blankets he personally slept with. Yes, he was well aware that he wasn't in his own bedroom. After a long moment of troubled thinking, Skwisgaar jolted upwards when he finally recollected the series of events that had preceded his falling asleep.

Kissing Toki. Stripping Toki. Sucking Toki off and finally, _fucking_ Toki Wartooth, with all the naughty action that had occurred in-between. Biting his lip, Skwisgaar looked to his left to find the man in question passed out on his stomach, his distinctive snoring slightly hindered by his pillow. Suddenly, Skwisgaar, within the confines of Toki's small, single mattress, felt utterly imprisoned and claustrophobic. '_Fucks me_,' he thought as he ran a hand over the light stubble now sprouting on his chin, shaking his head as he watched a content Toki. '_Whys must I thinks with my dicks so much?!_'

Toki, who had admitted long ago that Dethklok was his first experience within a real band, probably was unaware of the unwritten '_Rules of Conduct'_ that were in effect for music acts of all types. The words sometimes varied depending on the genre, but for the most part, the rules had the same premise.

One of those rules, a rather elementary rule, was that you must _never_ fool around with one of your bandmates. It could royally mess things up and always held the possibility of splitting the band apart, though this usually pertained to situations where the guilty parties were a male and female. Dethklok had already experienced a similar issue, when Nathan and Pickles had broken the '_Thy shalt not fuck thy fellow bandmates' lady/love interest_' clause. Now that they had finally rescued Toki, and that their first big show since his return was in the works, fucking up the band was not on Skwisgaar's list of priorities. At all.

With a deep sigh, Skwisgaar contemplated creeping out of the bed and slipping out of the other's room before Toki even began to show an inkling of stirring, to avoid the situation altogether. As of now, Toki was curled up close to him, his face now where Skwisgaar's shoulder once was. He looked serene but definitely tired from their romp from a few hours ago. Skwisgaar struggled to quell the strong sense of lust bubbling deep within him when he easily remembered how Toki had smelled, tasted, and felt... how it had felt to be buried deep within his warm, tight body, his melodious cries resounding when Skwisgaar fucked him over and over again...

He cursed himself and his slight erection, grumbling as he reached out and gently shook the other man in the bed. He grimaced as he whispered his name. "Toki." He only shook harder when he was met with resistance, Toki letting out a groan of disapproval. "Toki, gets up."

Toki let out a whine of complaint when an abrupt shake ripped him from the best night's sleep he had had in what felt like eons. His head and hand were aching from what had happened the evening before, but nothing could compare to the deep, confusing sting afflicting his backside. '_Whys de fucks—_Oh_, wowee..._' Toki's eyes snapped open to the sight of a bare-naked Skwisgaar Skwigelf leaning over him, his eyes boring holes into him. Toki felt the color quickly drain from his face before growing bashful as he recollected the previous night, the way they had kissed and moved against one another, how Skwisgaar had turned him onto his hands and knees and screwed him senselessly, and the way Toki had dozed off in his arms...

"Uh..." Toki suddenly felt so very shy under the gaze that had taken in more the previous night than he had ever imagined it would. He reached out to pull his blankets close in a weak attempt to cover his body from Skwisgaar's aloof gaze. "Goods… Goods mornings?" Toki uttered very nervously, Skwisgaar obviously frustrated at waking up by his side.

Clearing his throat, Skwisgaar shifted awkwardly beside him, mindfully pulling the leg that rested against Toki's away as he straightened up. He nervously folded his fingers in his lap.

"Goods mornings, Toki," he responded, trying to keep his voice as keen and professional as possible, the tension between both men so heavy it was practically tangible. "I thinks… I thinks it ams a goods idea if we talks… fors a moment…" As the words left his mouth he looked around the room, anywhere but at Toki, sucking on his bottom lip thoughtfully as he raked his brain to find the right words to express his thoughts. "Abouts last nights… I thinks we needs to keeps it our littles secret, ja?"

Toki merely blinked, trying his best to hear him through the dull throb in his head and his rump, the pain making him feel all the more uncomfortable. His assaulted behind was just a painful reminder of what had transpired between the two men. "Uh… Ja, ja, I thinks… I thinks dats cans be done…" Toki was still having a hard time processing what had happened in the past couple of hours, and couldn't believe that he had actually slept with, as in _had sex with_, his band mate.

Skwisgaar felt slightly relieved, at least for now, that this appeared to be wrapping up with as little mayhem as possible. "Goods, goods… It was… you knows… funs and all, but… Ja, it's justs a little…"

"Ja..." Skwisgaar didn't have to say another word; what the two men had done was literally _gay_. "No, I understands." Toki doubted he was any more ready to face the consequences and be subjected to their other bandmates' reactions.

"...Goods. Whelp, I betters be goings… Guitars not ams goings to pracsticks itself ands all…" Skwisgaar slowly crawled out of the bed, careful not to disturb Toki too much as he did so. Toki could hear his bare footsteps on the stone floor as he went to fetch his clothes. "Ja, maybes you shoulds be doings dats too, you knows…" Toki frowned at Skwisgaar's advice. He had just bent over for Skwisgaar, yet Skwisgaar still had it in him to demean him and throw a snide comment his way.

"I has been pracsticksings!" Toki said defensively, Skwisgaar letting out a light 'pfft' as he slipped his usual tank top on.

"You sures abouts dat?" He watched as Toki's face turned all the redder, presumably from both embarrassment and anger. It was no secret to anyone in Mordhaus that ever since his return, Toki's playing needed serious help. "Looks, I'lls believes it whens I hears it. We gots a huge shows soons and we stills needs to be practicksings togethers." Skwisgaar slipped his pants on and zipped them up, and was met with the sight of a pouting Toki when he looked back up. He stared back with a raised eyebrow. "So you can'ts be… you knows… _weirds_ abouts us."

"I amst _nots_ gonna be weirds!" Toki abruptly sat up and immediately regretted it as pain shot up his ass and spine. He bit his lip to suppress a surprised and achy squeal, cringing at the mere thought of having to move today. Skwisgaar, who seemed to have taken notice, looked utterly tickled as he picked up his boots.

"We'lls see, little Toki." Skwisgaar turned to leave and reached for the doorknob, looking back at his still naked rhythm guitarist. He studied his tousled hair, the faint welts his lips had left across Toki's neck, and those large, baby blue eyes that stared back at him as if expecting him to say more. He swiftly turned away when a wave of hunger for his fellow band member washed over him, wanting to restrain the temptation of staying behind. "We'lls see."

Skwisgaar opened the door and, after a quick inspection of the hallway, closed it behind him to leave Toki by himself. Toki looked at the now slightly indented spot beside him, a somewhat crushed Deddybear the only remaining hint that someone had shared his bed that night. Toki told himself that he was fine with what had happened. He didn't wish that Skwisgaar was still wrapped around him and breathing against his neck.

What he did know, however, was that, despite the lingering soreness from their sexual encounter, he felt happy. Maybe things would be different between Skwisgaar and him from now on, but he already felt lighter and even a little unafraid. He knew someone had cared about him, maybe even a little more than just caring about a bandmate. Maybe it wasn't love, but it was friendship, and one that had a fleeting sliver of intimacy.

Toki scooped Deddybear up and dug his nose into him, taking a deep inhale and grinning a little to himself. Deddybear now smelled a bit like Skwisgaar, and that in itself made Toki shiver with positive thoughts. With that, he turned back onto his stomach, assuring himself that it was perfectly fine to purposefully lay closer to where Skwisgaar once did. He sighed joyfully when he realized that his pillow now smelt like him, too.

The bad thoughts about what had happened with Magnus seemed miles away, at least for now. Toki closed his eyes and after a few deep breaths of Skwisgaar's scent, passed back out, remembering the way his lead guitarist had lulled him to sleep by playing invisible frets across his skin.

-x-

_So, this is it, other than chapter 2 enduring a little grammatical editing in a few days. I know this ending is very short and abrupt (kind of way too short for my usual taste), but as I have mentioned before, this is a part I of II. Part II will consist of approximately 8-10 chapters, give or take, and will take in much more emotional depth for our favorite Scandys. There will be more of Nathan, Pickles and Murderface (don't rule any other faces out, either) and it will get pretty angsty and full of love and heartbreak... Of course sex too, plenty of sex. I'll try not to get any hopes up._

_So, I hope you enjoyed this fic. Again, I appreciate all the love and support I received from everyone who even showed an inkling of interest in this fic. For my tumblr crew, thank you so very much for the likes, the follows, and the comments. You guys are awesome and make my day with all the great posts. For my fanfiction loves, thank you soooo much for the comments, they really are the driving force for me to continue my work._

_Thank you Wednesday1990, for editing my fic. Thanks for putting up with all the mistakes, haha._

_Sushirisu, love, I really need to thank you. This isn't even a fandom you're into but you took the time to read my fanfic and edit it for me, too. You may just say you're in it for the sex scenes, but don't lie to me, you're getting into the show a little. (; Nightmates for life, haha._

_a-seraph-in-purgatory, or BrutalWarElf, thanks for all your help. You've really made me feel at home in the fandom, I appreciate our conversations. Stay golden, girl. Also, your fanfics are the shit._

_anarchyandnoise, or SassyOcean, catch up and read my fic, haha. I'll know if you've read it. Thanks for the awesome conversations too. Seriously, is your blog mine? You're like the long lost me, you're too cool. If you haven't read her fics, check them out, too.  
_

_To everyone else, thank you! I love each and every one of you. School has started recently and I work full time, so except the sequel in a month or so. Thanks again everyone, keep your eyes peeled!_


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